Between karate, soccer, and piano lessons, plus schoolwork, it’s no wonder our little tykes literally collapse into bed every night. With limited time to fit everything in, when do kids simply get to be kids? How do they relax these days?
According to Dr. Vicki Panaccione, licensed psychologist and founder of the Better Parenting Institute, which provides resources to parents to seeking fulfillment as they raise happy children into responsible adults, it’s important to notice the warning signs of burnout. “Any significant, drastic change in a child’s behavior should be considered a warning sign and may indicate excessive stress,” she explains.
As for the signs themselves, they range from complaining during the day of the actual activity (”Mom, my stomach hurts” or “I have a headache”) to fatigue. Your little one may have sleep problems (restlessness, nightmares) or demonstrate regressive behaviors (wetting the bed, whining, nail biting or thumb sucking). Other warning signs include irritability, aggression, withdrawal, a change in personality, temper tantrums, defiance, anxiousness (clinginess, separation issues) or lack of enthusiasm and enjoyment in the activity. When you see this, it’s important to intervene and scale back, advises Dr. Vicki.
Assess Schedules:
Better yet, you can avoid activity overload altogether by taking a closer look at your child’s schedule. For instance, does your son seem to no longer enjoy soccer practice? Does every afternoon include mini-vanning your way through town to his extracurricular and social activities only to arrive home to an evening filled with homework and household chores? If so, it’s time to slow down and create time for unstructured play. Trust us, the benefits are two-fold: This will help free up your schedule and reduce your burnout factor, too!
The first step is to look at why you feel compelled to have your children so scheduled out in the first place. “Oftentimes it’s the parent’s need to provide as many opportunities for their kids as possible that is the driving force,” says Dr. Vicki. “However, it’s equally important for children to learn to be selective because they can not always do everything or get everything done at once.”
Let’s not forget that after-school activities are important, since they provide kids with opportunities to pursue their interests and talents beyond academia. “These activities can help create a well-rounded child and help bring out individual talents,” she says. “They can also help foster self-confidence, a sense of competence, social skills, and creativity.”
Scale Back:
The idea is to limit the portion size. While the roster may include sports, scouting, artistic pursuits, and youth group activities, too much of a good thing is, well, too much. So where do you cross the line? What if you daughter has an interest in ballet, tai chi, the flute, and participating in her youth group? Dr. Vicki explains, “As a rule of thumb, children should only be involved in one sport and one other kind of activity at a time.” Think of it this way: if you’re exhausted driving them around from activity to activity, chances are your child is tired as well.
“Children have very little time to interact with peers without it being orchestrated. And I’m referring to activities other than video games,” says Dr. Vicki. As for her suggestion? Ride a bike, play ball, have friends over to play Legos or throw a tea party. “Kids need to be able to decide to read, color, build, pretend, imagine, and channel their feelings through imaginative play.”
In short, be selective and ensure your child has time to simply play (schedule it in the calendar if need be).
In your opinion, how many activities is too many activities?
Michelle Brunetti from TheCuteKid.com, the most respected and fastest growing baby contest with 1.7 million members. TheCuteKid baby contest is judged by Entertainment Industry Professionals and awards over $100,000 in prizes annually. Do You Have a CuteKid?
