Teen anger can be more difficult to deal with than child anger. Teen anger stems from more complex stimuli than fighting over a toy, yet the basics remain the same with the exception of raging hormones. Anger management is more intense with teenagers because they have already developed their own coping responses. Some of these responses are probably not very effective and need to be reworked. Rewiring these responses can take a lot of patience, consistency, and time; sadly, however, many parents will resort to medicating their teens for a quick fix. Although medication is a viable option, it does not change ingrained behaviors. Medication should only be used to lessen the severity of anxiety issues so that you, as parents, can more easily reinforce proper anger management techniques either through your own efforts of those of a trained professional.
Angry teens can provoke anger in adults; this, in turn, can reinforce already ingrained, negative responses. Teen anger can manifest in several ways. It can appear verbally as abusive and foul language, rude comments, degrading remarks; physically as punches and strikes at others around them or destruction of property; emotionally as poor school performance, attendance, dropping out of sports or other activities once enjoyed, avoidance of friends and family through isolation and withdrawal. Teen anger can also surface as self-injury through self-mutilation, starvation, drug and alcohol use, reckless driving, even attempts at suicide.
However, regardless of the severity of the anger issues in your teens, there is help available. If you need professional consultation, school is a good place to start. Ask for referrals to school psychologists. Sometimes professional help is necessary, especially when anger manifests as serious illnesses like bipolar disorders, conduct disorders or intermittent anger disorders.
There are also many anger management techniques you can incorporate into your home life that can encourage your teenagers to deal with anger issues in an effective and rational manner. You can also ask school personnel to participate in the strategies used with your teens. It is never too late to start instilling positive anger management practices in your teenagers. If you sense that professional help is not needed, here are some avenues that you can use to help your teens learn to deal with anger.
a) Role model proper anger management skills at every opportunity.
b)Teach your teens ways to relax physically and emotionally, such as meditation, taking deep breaths, repeated flexing of muscles and counting or repeating positive phrases.
c)Increase your teens’ self-esteem and confidence levels through praise whenever you can. Too often adults are quick to snap at the negative and forget to praise the positives.
d)Encourage your teens to write down their feelings. They can choose to keep their writings private or share with you their thoughts; or they may, after writing out their anger, rip the pages up and let the anger go.
If your teens are artistic, you could encourage them to express anger through drawing or painting. This is another good way for them to release their anger in a controlled and cathartic manner.
Encourage your teens to”run” their anger out of their system. Or encourage them to go to a gym and “work it out.” Getting involved in a martial arts program is also another great option. A solid program of martial arts teaches self control, which is very effective for anger management issues.
Lifestyle options like those above provide your teens with the opportunity to deal with anger in a holistic way. They also emphasize the understanding that anger is a life issue and learning how to handle life issues is part of being human. Be sure to follow through with proper anger management techniques in your own life to set a proper example. Remember, a negative response to anger is a learned behavior and new and more effective approaches to anger can be taught.
Bianca Tora is a writer interested in the relationship between lifestyle and the brain, specifically the area of emotional regulation and control. She has written a book on anger management for children. Visit her help-your-child-with-anger
