Many people are convinced that expressions of anger are abnormal and extreme. However, in many cases, anger is healthy as long as it does not cause injuries to self, another person or property. Thinking about how you express rage or anxiety is important for psychological well-being. In fact, appropriate expressions of anger can be healthy.
Healthy anger does not hurt, destroy, scare, belittle, or deceive another person or self; neither does it destroy things. Unhealthy rage does. Your response is a learned response. Unhealthy responses that destroy self, others and things can be unlearned through focus and attention. Ultimately a healthy temper includes a reassessment of self, situation and behavior.
Healthy expressions of wrath can be the twisting of a dishtowel; an unhealthy expression would be taking the dishtowel and smacking your child across the face with it. A healthy response is setting boundaries. It means that although you may feel intense rage about something, you will recognize its seriousness and take the necessary actions to release the negative emotions in a healthy way. A healthy response also means that you are cognizant of the fact that your children learn from your responses to anger and that for their sake, you will manifest a proactive and controlled expression.
There are several ways you can express displeasure in a healthy manner. These avenues include writing in your journal, taking time out, exercising, drawing, painting, music, meditating, long baths. Playing with a family pet is also a good alternative. Studies show that the feel good chemical in your bodies, endorphins, are increased when you interact with your pets. Learning to address your rage at a later time, when you are in more control of your emotions, is also a good idea. Whatever relaxes you other than drugs or alcohol is a healthy way to control and release negative emotions.
However, let us keep this in mind: not dealing with a sense of outrage is dangerous and unhealthy. If something makes you upset, your anger is perfectly natural and healthy, but denying or repressing your resentment only results in storing it in your body until one day it overflows with rage and explodes.
Like most aspects of life, wrath must be handled with intelligence and grace.There is nothing wrong with rage; the issue does not lie in the emotion itself, but in the response you choose to express it. Most of all, the issue is about making your sense of exasperation an opportunity for teaching your children what healthy anger is.
Bianca Tora is a writer interested in the relationship between lifestyle and the brain, specifically the area of emotional regulation and control. She has written a book on anger management for children. Visit her help-your-child-with-anger
